A Parent's Nightmare
The night was late with a nice spring breeze. The stars illuminated Norman, Oklahoma, sometimes referred to as Nompton. It was the eve of May Graduation at the University of Oklahoma. Students, graduating and not graduating, crowded Asp Avenue with intentions to celebrate their accomplishments big and small. Destiny, a graduating fifth year senior, was one of the few that did not have such a jovial spirit as she laughed, drank, and danced with friends and strangers. It was as though she was just there so that she would not get fined.
Many students on campus admired Destiny's beauty, her poise, her intelligence, and her involvement in the community. She also considered herself to belong to the elite on campus. Her resume was very extensive. She believed that during her collegiate career that she remained faithful to her morals, values, and goals. She rarely dated because she had standards that could not be questioned. She was very selective with who she chose to associate herself with. The thought of being seen on social media in the wrong way frightened her.
Bang! A door slammed and hit Destiny.
"Hey! Watch out for the beautiful lady. You should still have some type of respect even if you are drinking!" said this tall Italian guy. His curly brunette hair blew in the breeze and his muscular arms flexed. He turned and smiled at Destiny with perfection. His teeth were white and straight.
It was love at first sight.
Destiny found herself consumed by admiration and unable to respond. Her friends began to laugh and sing, "Ooooh...Destiny has a crush." The two lovebirds locked eyes and time stood still. He held her in his muscular arms for her knees seemed weak. He took in her beauty.
Four weeks later...
As Destiny's father walked her down the narrow church aisle covered with roses, family and friends gazed in awe at her elegance. Her mother could not stop crying her eyes out. Her sobbing was somewhat distracting but no one could blame her. Her tears expressed the pain that she was feeling. Her little girl was marrying a random boy that she barely knew and moving overseas the next day.
"I do!", said the two newlyweds. They left the altar with bright smiles and focused on a happily ever after. The newly married Mr. and Mrs. Tinkleberry traveled hours to their new home, Chris Tinkleberry's hometown.
Unfortunately, their honeymoon did not last very long. Chris only wanted to marry Destiny to help grow his illegal businesses. The plan was for Destiny to lure rich druglords while Chris robbed them of their riches. Chris's sister, who was also part of the illegal festivities, felt sorry for the beautiful girl. The sister knew that her brother was up to no good and did not deserve such a wife. The sister knew that Destiny was raised in a different environment.
The sister started stashing money so she could send Destiny back home. Destiny once was a beautiful girl that had her whole life ahead of her. Unfortunately, one wrong decision ruined her life. After about two weeks, she sent Destiny back home by boat.
Once Destiny arrived home, she became a different person. She followed her parents' wishes and married a family friend. They lived happily ever after forever.
The night was late with a nice spring breeze. The stars illuminated Norman, Oklahoma, sometimes referred to as Nompton. It was the eve of May Graduation at the University of Oklahoma. Students, graduating and not graduating, crowded Asp Avenue with intentions to celebrate their accomplishments big and small. Destiny, a graduating fifth year senior, was one of the few that did not have such a jovial spirit as she laughed, drank, and danced with friends and strangers. It was as though she was just there so that she would not get fined.
Many students on campus admired Destiny's beauty, her poise, her intelligence, and her involvement in the community. She also considered herself to belong to the elite on campus. Her resume was very extensive. She believed that during her collegiate career that she remained faithful to her morals, values, and goals. She rarely dated because she had standards that could not be questioned. She was very selective with who she chose to associate herself with. The thought of being seen on social media in the wrong way frightened her.
Bang! A door slammed and hit Destiny.
"Hey! Watch out for the beautiful lady. You should still have some type of respect even if you are drinking!" said this tall Italian guy. His curly brunette hair blew in the breeze and his muscular arms flexed. He turned and smiled at Destiny with perfection. His teeth were white and straight.
It was love at first sight.
Destiny found herself consumed by admiration and unable to respond. Her friends began to laugh and sing, "Ooooh...Destiny has a crush." The two lovebirds locked eyes and time stood still. He held her in his muscular arms for her knees seemed weak. He took in her beauty.
Four weeks later...
As Destiny's father walked her down the narrow church aisle covered with roses, family and friends gazed in awe at her elegance. Her mother could not stop crying her eyes out. Her sobbing was somewhat distracting but no one could blame her. Her tears expressed the pain that she was feeling. Her little girl was marrying a random boy that she barely knew and moving overseas the next day.
"I do!", said the two newlyweds. They left the altar with bright smiles and focused on a happily ever after. The newly married Mr. and Mrs. Tinkleberry traveled hours to their new home, Chris Tinkleberry's hometown.
Unfortunately, their honeymoon did not last very long. Chris only wanted to marry Destiny to help grow his illegal businesses. The plan was for Destiny to lure rich druglords while Chris robbed them of their riches. Chris's sister, who was also part of the illegal festivities, felt sorry for the beautiful girl. The sister knew that her brother was up to no good and did not deserve such a wife. The sister knew that Destiny was raised in a different environment.
The sister started stashing money so she could send Destiny back home. Destiny once was a beautiful girl that had her whole life ahead of her. Unfortunately, one wrong decision ruined her life. After about two weeks, she sent Destiny back home by boat.
Once Destiny arrived home, she became a different person. She followed her parents' wishes and married a family friend. They lived happily ever after forever.
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| The Proposal at graduation
Author's Note: I chose to use The Disobedient Daughter that Married a Skull for this week's storytelling. Afiong had beauty that every other female in Calabar wanted and that made every man fall in love. Afiong was aware of her beauty and denied every man that asked for her hand in marriage. She wanted to marry the best-looking man on earth. She knew that she was not going to settle for just anyone because she deserved better. A skull borrowed body parts from other skulls so that he could look the best for Afiong. He got a new leg here. He got a new arm there. Her parents warned her about him. They knew that all that glitters is not gold. Soon enough they realized that there was nothing that they could say to their daughter. They finally let the two marry. The skull took Afiong back to the graveyard, which was not what Afiong imagined. She thought they would live in a luxurious home and have a luxurious future. The skull's mother wanted to send her back to her parents. His mother knew that he was up to no good. She disguised Afiong and really wanted to return her back to her parents. I decided to add a little drama to my story. I tried to make the story somewhat like what would happen in a movie. I changed the setting of the story and made it something that I could relate to. Many men did not ask to marry Destiny but wanted to date Destiny. Instead of a graveyard, I changed it to a bad neighborhood. Also, I changed the mother that sent Afiong home to a sister.
Bibliography: Folk Stories From Southern Nigeria by Elphinstone Dayrell (1910). |
First, let me say that I loved how you referred to Norman as Nompton. It cracked me up and immediately got me in a good mood for your story. I liked how you wrote this story, it felt like I was reading a script for a play or movie. Also, wow! What a crazy twist! I was angry with Chris, but thought it was good that you incorporated reasons other than love for getting married. Too often, I feel, people are so into the idea of a fairy tale marriage that they get married too early and don't really know the person they are dedicating the rest of their life to. I'm glad you ended the story on a positive note too. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI also loved the usage of the term Nompton. I use it very commonly in my friend group. I enjoyed this whole story throughout. You did a great job at writing and I really enjoyed the style in which you wrote with. I also liked that it had a twist at the end because it just gives you a little bit of a surprise. I really look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
ReplyDeleteHello again, Chandler! Firstly, I love that you moved this story into a more familiar setting—it gives the reader a step into the action, as they can relate more easily. And this story definitely accomplished your goal of feeling like a dramatic movie—I can see the plotline of a rom-com in the making, though maybe the ending would be somewhat happier, haha. Great work translating an old folktale into a believable modern-day drama! Can’t wait to read more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHey Chandler! Though I did not read the original story, I really like your version better because it is more realistic. I also like the way you stayed close to the original layout of the story but used your creativity to make your own story. A few times during the story, there were a few grammatical errors and I wish there was more information on the girl on why she would marry a guy she just met. But other than that, I love the story! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great retelling! I think your story was great and it really did feel like something you would see in a movie (which you stated as your intention in the author's note). I can see a lot of metaphorical parallels between your retelling and the original story, like Destiny coming back "different" than what she was before instead of being disfigured. Overall, I really liked your story and I think it has a good message for people who get married after not knowing the other person for very long.
ReplyDelete